Your Grammar Mistake Based on Your Star Sign
Yes, yes! We know, dear reader. Whoops Word exists with a deep respect for the laws of language. However, it’s been a heck of a week, and we could honestly all just use a laugh. So here we go! Unserious as can be (and not in any way backed by logic – don’t at us, please, astrology nerds!), Whoops Word presents a personalised breakdown of grammar mistakes based on star signs.
Full disclosure, this is not to be taken seriously. You’re all making way more than a single grammatical error based on your star sign. Seriously, you’d better message us for a full breakdown of your next job application’s flaws.
Aries
Your writing reads like a text message: no punctuation (or respect for our poor frayed word-nerd nerves). It’s just one big old run-on sentence, leaving the meaning of the message to the whim of the reader’s ability to interpret “vibes.”
Taurus
You confidently overuse “alot” like it’s a valid word. (It’s really not. Please stop doing it. We die a little bit inside every time *sniffles in grammatical distress*.)
Gemini
You write in all caps when you’re trying to convey intense emotion in a message. Ultimately, this makes you look like an angry, emotional wreck, yelling into the abyss. (For real, are you okay…?)
Cancer
You overuse ellipses… Are you trying to create tension…? Mystery…? Emotional engagement…? We’ll never know, because it simply looks as though you can’t finish your thought. Maybe tone it down a bit…? (See what we did there, dear reader? Masters of comedy!)
Leo
You randomly capitalise letters to create a sense of eccentricity and whimsy. It’s giving Margo Roth Spiegelman (Paper Towns by John Green, anyone?). But it’s hard to pull off the manic pixie dream girl character in real life. Maybe just leave the capitalisation to the start of the sentences and proper nouns?
Virgo
You have a tendency to mix up “affect” and “effect.” You have to look up the difference every time, but it just never stays in your head. So frustrating!
Libra
Much like Aries, you, Libras, love a confusing run-on sentence. You also don’t understand the difference between American and UK English. For example: “I sent my job application without proofreading it I didn’t check for typos or realize I attached the wrong file.” (You keep us in business, and we love you, our darling Libras!)
Scorpio
You have learned to weaponise commas, making your writing sharp enough to cut your enemies! (We kind of love it *nervous giggle*.)
Sagittarius
You consistently spell “definitely” as “defiantly.” While this is incorrect in most contexts, you’d be surprised how often this actually works, dear reader. So, respect.
Capricorn
You have learned to use and incorporate semicolons correctly, and you make sure everybody knows about it at every opportunity. (And, you know what? That snootiness was hard fought and well won. Rub it in, dear reader. Rub. It. In!)
Aquarius
Somehow, you’ve invented your own unique sentence structures that exist outside of the traditional grammar system. Too cool for school (or existing style guides in this case), some might say of our darling Aquarius folk. For example: “My CV immaculate, is it not?” (Cue the internal screaming from our proofreaders.)
Pisces
You poor dears are endlessly confusing “your” and “you’re” and then spiraling into self-doubt and anxiety after you’ve handed in important documents. (Good thing you have us to check you over so you can submit with confidence!)
